Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Where to go from here

Apologies in advance for the incoherent jumble of thoughts to follow...

I'm going to start this by saying I adore Cupid.  If I didn't already have him, in all honesty I would probably look for something different right now since my goals have changed in the last few years. But I can't imagine not having Cupid, and he has a home with me for the rest of his life!  And if he was unhappy with what we're doing then I would definitely change.  Sometimes I worry that showing is too stressful for him, and it's never going to get better and I'm a horrible person for making him do it.  But I've been there before, and last year when we went to a clinic or show 1-2x a month eventually he seemed relaxed and quite content to do it.  We just haven't been very consistent getting out this year, between the baby and his health issues.  And he actually has gotten a lot better overall, whereas before at first he was anxious the moment we got off the trailer, dragging me around, not interested in his food.  Now he's quite happy hanging out at the trailer and very much interested in his hay.  He just gets a little quick in the warmup, and then more anxious in the showring.  Which... maybe it's a me problem.  I no longer feel nervous/sick to my stomach like I used to but I'm sure I still hold a lot more tension then normal. 
Still my #1

So as you might have guests for that introduction, the show did not quite go according to plan.  We had some challenges, taking longer to get to the show then I anticipated, then missing a turn and  having to back up the trailer in an uncomfortably narrow place, and when I finally got there there was some confusion over my late entry that took sometime to get sorted out.  So I thought I gave myself enough time to longe and have a leisurely warm up, but ended up with only 30 minutes to tack up and warm up before my first test.  There was a short delay in starting so we had a little extra time and after a nice long to canter Cupid felt pretty settled.   We headed to the show arena and proceeded to lay down another tense test.  Cupid was a little spooky around a platform with a fire hose (aka snake) outside the arena, so we briefly stopped to investigated it.

No problem I thought, we still had a second test to try again. We went  back to the trailer for a drink of water and to relax for about 10 minutes before we went back to the warm up.  And I thought we had quite a nice warm up and I was feeling optimistic.  Overall the second test was slightly better then the first, but still only about 50% of what we produce at home.  And then, mid-canter near the end of the test Cupid unexpectedly does a giant buck and scoots across the ring.  I got pitched up his neck a bit but pull myself back into the saddle, resume our canter circle, haul him to a trot, turn (apparently widely) down the centerline and halt to a "nice save" from the judge! 

I thought Cupid was being bratty because he didn't like having to do 2 tests.  I didn't want him to think he can be naughty and be done so I took him back into the warmup.  We trotted once around, then picked up the canter and a few strides in he bucked again, slightly smaller this time.  I kept him going in the canter a bit, then down to the trot.  Then we changed directions and picked up the canter again, and another buck.  I kept him cantering, then did some more trot work, then finally cantered with no bucks, and did a few more transitions between the trot and canter and Cupid behaved.  Then we did a little more trot work, no bucking but Cupid did try to break into the walk a few times.  I kept him going, and after a few minutes of nice trotwork ended on a good note. 

So of course my first thought is to make sure we rule out any physical problems, and we have an appointment with the vet.  He wasn't off, the was picking up his leads correctly, but bucking is unusual for him so I want to make sure.  We've had crazy up and down weather, hot a few days then cold and foggy, and a week and a half ago he seemed abscess-y but after one soak and pack he looked fine.  (Update Tuesday morning he was off, and looked like a LF abscess again.)  I had his feet x-rayed a few years ago because of recurring abscess-like symptoms to make sure it wasn't anything more, so it might be worth x-raying again and seeing if there are changes.  Or evaluating whether he needs adequan or other support.  Or is his back still tight, or are his teeth sharp? 

If that all checks out, was he just being bratty because he thought he was done?  He hates showing?  Was I annoying him by pulling too much, since at the last show he kept breaking into the canter maybe I was just being to handsy trying to prevent that?  Is it just my nerves and general crappy riding?  Hopefully I will get the video soon and see if that provides any more information.

Buck aside, all the comments were along the lines of "prompt but above the bit" or "accurate but hollow".  Even though I feel like we've made a lot of progress at home, I am facing the truth that right now we haven't quite mastered the requirements of even training level in a test setting.

At this point Cupid has been a riding horse twice as long as he was a racehorse.  But, he was bred for generations to simply run as fast as he can, even if that means with his head low and pulling with his front end.  Quite the opposite of what you want in a dressage horse! And on top of that, I've never ridden a real dressage horse so I'm not always sure what I'm supposed to feel.  Riding with that level of contact is still unnatural to me.  I really thought this show was going to go well, and was looking forward to hopefully moving up in the fall.  It's getting harder for me not to feel discouraged..

5 comments:

  1. Ah I'm sorry it didn't go well! Is there a schoolmaster type to get a lesson on at your barn? That made a huge difference for me, I rode a schoolmaster for a year or so when Rico was off and having that feeling in my mind of what it's *supposed* to feel like helped when Rico came back into work, it also helped me pinpoint what was me and what was him. They're few and far between though! TC is pretty far from you but he's a good one to give you a good feeling in the connection/over his back if you're up for a road trip, and I have a 3rd level+ horse closer to you that I think the owner would let me teach a lesson on if you want. She doesn't give as good of a feeling as TC does but she goes right to the bridle.

    Progress can be slow at times and it sucks. I was talking to a friend last night actually about this, with dressage it always feels like things can be improved so then they seem like they're not getting any better. Like, I still feel like my shoulder-in is terrible even though I've been riding it for fifteen years at this point (realizing that was horrifying), it's just a slightly different kind of terrible than it used to be. Fingers crossed that things get better this fall but definitely give yourself a break with all the stuff going on in your life!

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    1. I would love to take you up on that! There aren't any schoolmasters available at my barn, I've been thinking about looking for a place I can take a few lessons. I'll message you once we're through the vet stuff. Thanks!

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  2. It is so hard to struggle and feel like you are not making the progress that you had hoped for. It's clear that you are a great owner that cares so much about your horse - Cupid is very lucky to have you! Much of what you write really rings a bell for me. I was in a similar position with a horse I had a few years ago. In my case, after going down many false roads, x-rays showed that he had very mild KS which we were able to correct, and ultimately he was much happier and more comfortable. Best of luck as you sort things out.

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  3. i'm sorry the show didn't go to plan. it can be hard to step back and take a fresh look at everything going on with the horse (physical, equipment, training, etc) but sometimes that's just what we gotta do. here's hoping your evaluations produce some good insights on what has to happen next!!

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  4. The buck could be related to his tension and trying to release it. If it continues at home I’d investigate. I totally get the frustration eith progress being slow. Like you said, it is improving. What is helping me this year is nakinf sure at the shows that my focus is on training, not any outcome. It is helping me stay focused. Carmen is noticing and responding. I don’t know if it will help us in the end. But I’m optimistic

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